Willkommen & Most Welcome!
Ursula Sabisch, Empress, Ruebenkoppel 1, 23564 Luebeck, Germany
Just Ebert Design Ltd. CO/
Beiersdorf LIMITED COMPANY
22761 / 20245 Hamburg
To the sender Sat 1/ CC to all TV and Radio Stations
10117 Berlin / Worldwide
Luebeck, Saturday, May 31st, 2003
Please let the funny German language document be translated in all languages worldwide and handed over to your branch!
Dear Sir/ Madame of the Management!
This morning by styling my hair the product Gard New Style Forming Fluid run out, so that I pressed the last bit from the tube.
The noise effect of this pressing of the tube went through the whole house, since one normally stays in a bathroom where the noises are clearly audible.
It listened clearly as if one is uncontrolled farting around and more.
Please, in future consider what you bring on market and if necessary please withdraw it from circulation immediately.
It was exceptionally embarrassing to have used your product, so I had been under pressure to justify myself in such a way to my neighbor therefore.
These noise effects are the purest love killer, especially if a courting couple is in an apartment jointly and the user of your product notices no more, what effect that could have taken.
Since I have an unusually fine hair I have several hairs care products at home, so I then made use of Nivea Aqua Gel, which is provided with the trend fragrance.
This trend fragrance is a really gentleman fragrance, however, that was not recorded on the presentation of the mentioned product. This product is also pressed from a tube, yet this is still almost full, so that I very much expect not once again be having such a surprise.
No wonder that many a person turns to the other sex through such a farting around and such a burping around, even if it only comes from the tube!
Just yesterday ran the popular Comedy series „ Janitor Krause" via the TV Sat 1, so every stupid one can thereby nevertheless recognize, in which level "this pigsty" is moving, what from all sides offend everything against the person`s dignity and ethic.
How do you and others may let people in fact run around through your offered products?
Also the boys and men tart up already their hair, they tint and they change colour like a burned off woman.
There are now sufficient people already, the through an unnatural hair colour with styled hairdo run around as a pure bugbear, originated as from a Comedy series.
Added to this the age relevant hair colours not expertly are offered and hair problems of the customers cannot be addressed correctly by the specialists, since no deliberation normally stands for disposal.
Either one should let the hair cropped short at all Comedy characters to order them a wig or else to order them immediate a change of the colour and of the hairdo.
Now much many older women already run around also with a lad top, so that a small child has got difficulties in this regard to identify the sex of the appropriate person correctly.
So you as a manufacturer of hair products ought get in contact to the merchants as a middleman to supply the hairdressers as the specialists and to take care for a sensible application of your products, because for this purpose herewith you and other ones are obliged to control the use value.
My person has invested with unusual thin nerves by my hard work into "this pigsty" and however may for a long time onto you. ……………what for you and other ones is not allowed, you sick screwballs, you!
My letter style is not an insult, but it clarifies the reality, where each one has to be taken in here and elsewhere.
Apart from that, I am also satisfied with the above-mentioned products like certainly many others, however I draw yours attention, that this writing like much others also have to be published worldwide.
The Empress must be allowed be using every possibility in order to be able to hit back in the same manner, whether via TV, broadcast, E-Mail, fax or by post.
Yours faithfully and on behalf
HP.: Please, make more precisely inquiries about the reality at the office Faust XXXXXXX (not anymore topical)
16th. March 2011 Now you can use my homepages to inform everybody via news paper or elsewhere!
22th. January 2019 / Free Translation/